Thursday 28th August 1958

I ain't no like smoking but sometimes Char don't give me no choice. Most times I go now, is to join them but I know it ain't good for my health. I try to not do it but if I don't do it with her and the twins she say I'm stupid. I really hate it when they treat me that way, when they treat me like I'm worthless and sometimes I really just don't wanna do it, I just want to pee. The principal has already taken doors off the bathroom stalls away because he think it stops all us from doing the smoking, writing on walls and cutting class but he needs to think again. All us girls still do the same things. In fact, every morning is when we meet and when I can finally get out of my momma's home made rags and change into Char's glamorous, designer clothes. Life without Char and the twins would probably be a lot less stressful, but I just want to fit in. Their life without me would be hard too. I do all of Char's homework. She be getting a reputation from the way she treats me and she be proud of it. All I've ever wanted to do is fit in but Char obviously won't let that happen.

Today I was late for second block and walked in to find everybody's got their head down and they all be writing. "What does your face say to the world?" was our topic. Miss Saunders is already going round collecting papers by the time I began to write. I only got to write 3 sentences and she ain't not letting me have any excuses. She still wanted me to answer the question. Of course somebody be teasing me after that. Of course they be teasing me 'bout my skin colour. When Miss Saunders told us about how she felt about her face and about how she ain't just naturally like the way she look I gained respect for her. I know she struggles just like I do and can't believe she's been going through the pain, the agony of the taunting, the teasing. I know it ain't feel good and I hope that ain't how I get teased when I'm older. Hearing her say those words have made me curious about what I gonna look like when I'm older and if the teasing is ever gonna stop. Hearing those words have made me WANT to make the teasing stop. No way am I gonna let people treat me like I ain't no nothing. I ain't gonna let anybody treat me like I'm imperfect. Char ain't gonna be liking that idea but it's something I feel needs to be done. Sucks for her but I know I deserve a lot better than them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-POnP8O2R0 - You Shook Me - Willie Dixon